Building for the future – Youth leadership
Young people seem to get a lot of bad press these days – binge drinking, teenage pregnancies, gang culture – the media seems to bring it all to our attention.
However, there are also many positive stories to warm the heart and challenge these negative concepts.
Nigel Candelent, Youth and Family Worker at Littleham Cum Exmouth Parish in Devon, is one of those people who's enthusiasm and positive attitude is exactly what young people need to encourage and enable them to develop character, confidence and values that promote the understanding of healthy behaviour and good leadership.
Having come from a background as a consultant kitchen planner, Nigel started this work 2 years ago after successfully running the football club at his daughter's school. His natural rapport with the children was noticeable, and he was asked to join his Church Youth Club to work with families, young children and youth. "When things changed in my life, I just felt a natural calling to the work I am doing. Because I had worked in a school environment, children saw me as a 'teacher' so that respect was there at the beginning and I was able to come alongside them" explained Nigel. "The key to youth work is to have a line that the young people cannot walk over – to be able to reach them at their own level and speak their language, yet have that ultimate boundary". Although Nigel explained that this was a natural gift to him, he came to the job with little experience and when he applied, felt it was way beyond him – "I just had enthusiasm and a positive attitude" he said. "You can learn the skills you need, but you have to change the way you are to be able to do it".
Nigel's role is to co-ordinate the work of the Mission Community. Here he felt that the most important thing was to build links with the two schools in the parish in order to bring the children and families together at activities and function. However, we talked principally about one of the youth clubs – CHILL – which started catering for children of 11-17 years old. They had an 'open house policy' – created a café with healthy food, and home made cakes – "and it proved very successful" said Nigel.
What was not successful though, and one of the first learning curves for Nigel and his team, was that the 1-/11 and 16/17 year old did not mix. "Littleham estate, where the children come from, has a very diverse mix of social and cultural differences" said Nigel, and the team very quickly learned that the rules they had set were cumbersome. There were beginning to be instances of intimidation, bullying and almost a feeling of gang culture starting in some groups.
The club is now membership only. There are 4 main rules – no bullying or swearing, respect to everybody inside and outside, no energy drinks, smoking drugs or alcohol. These are set out in a statement of intent which parents are also asked to read and understand. "The club needs to have an identity and the children need to own it" said Nigel. The success is palpable as they now have a group of 40 plus a waiting list of 16.
"To get the young people to think about what try to do, we have a word of the day" explained Nigel. "Trust, responsibility, kindness, caring – these are the values we live by" Everyone who attends is encouraged to chat with others and use the word of the day, finding out what it really means and sharing stories of how that value can be used.
"The key thing with the young people is teaching them the life skills that take them on to the next stage – and 'respect' is a big one" – the work starts in the primary schools and then they come across to be moulded and nurtured into positive role models. "What we find with the group we have now is that firstly they want to be there and immediately accepted the rules that apply – we have built bridges between us and the children by also including the parents at open evenings" Nigel told me. "It's a lively club. We try to create family evenings where everyone comes together – three have already been hugely attended. By getting the parent's responsibility for their young people, that creates a precedent".
Nigel explained that the best way to encourage leadership in the young people is to come alongside them – talk to them – spend time with them. At 14, they have to leave the club, but are encouraged to come back and be helpers. Each month they put on a workshop. Recently a media/editing workshop was attended by a young man who, though initially reluctant to get involved and having been destructive in a low-key way at the club, has now taken responsibility with video editing work. Nigel feels that he will eventually be a key member of the club, leading activities and workshops. "He did a fantastic job for an hour and a half, concentrated and only flipped (which is in his nature) for about 20 seconds. Rather than remonstrating with him, we acknowledged his overall behaviour as being positive, which made him laugh!".
"Our attitude was for kindness and willingness to listen – just to be different from what he may experience at home. We deal with the boundaries with calmness, and to begin with he could not understand why we were not shouting and throwing things at him like he was used to".
"We all get angry at times, but there is a level that we can go to. The young people know the boundaries and that we will be firm but different – that takes time. To start with you almost kill them with calmness and kindness, and then they start getting used to it and the anger gets less and less. They want boundaries, role models and love – we can give them all of that"
As a Christian Youth Worker, Nigel Candelent decided that his heart was telling him that this was where he should be, and the opportunity at 40 was just what he needed. Through his dedicated work, so many young people have overcome bad attitudes, blossomed into new dimensions and have the potential to become future leaders of the club.
"One of the most wonderful things in my job is the honour and privilege to walk down to the town and get someone calling your name without any swear words attached to it – to achieve that is just such a wonderful feeling and the pinnacle of our youth work"
Interview by Vanessa Ascough - editor